Late last night, Adam and I were standing in the kitchen. Our long and full day of meal preps, park play, baby passing, and general "to-dos" had come to an end. I shuffled forks and knives into the dish washer while my mind was darting down a list of night time chores. On that list was scrubbing the dark streaks of orange and blue crayola marker off the window sill in the kitchen. I never got around to it but that's not the point. Luckily, we had already bathed and soothed our energizer bunny to bed so the window had at least a 10 hour reprieve. It was quiet in the house except for the low humming of the TV and the buzzing of the washing machine.

Peace....and quiet....

Adam walked over to the baby monitor and clicked on the screen. Silence echoed back at him.

"I just want to go wake him up."

My eye widened and panic struck across my face as I gave him a look of "Why on earth?!?". Scenes of Lego destruction and flying building blocks began to race through my mind. While I knew he wouldn't actually go wake Hayzilla, I continued to give him a look of udder confusion.

He didn't even skip a beat as he continued to gaze at the screen.

"I just want to play with him. He's so much fun."

You know that feeling when you get warm fuzzies in your stomach and your heart suddenly turns into heaping pile of goop? Yea, I had that. I just stood there speechless.

.....I really love that man. Hayden is one lucky kid. His dad has so much heart it hurts. And he loves that kid. Like really loves that kid. I'm so glad he's Hayden's daddy and I'm so glad he's mine.

And I'm so glad he's home.

A quick little update about our Friday. Because let's face it. Momma is tired.

Hayden and I had a play date today at the Children's Museum with several mommies from my Mom group. The Museum has an indoor area with a hospital, grocery store, train station, the worlds largest Lite Brite (remember those??), and of course a dinosaur exhibit. There is also an outdoor area that has a small water park with sinks to splash in and steer small plastic boats through. Oh and let's not forget the dinosaur dig pit. A small child's delight.

Two hours commenced of children running around in a play room of exploration and discovery while chatty moms talked through their week, only briefly pausing to prevent a little from injury or entertain a voice of demand. (Mommy, watch this!!) Being that it was a beautiful day, the babies eventually gravitated to the outdoors and we spent the last half hour soaking up sun while little ones soaked themselves in water. My sun kissed winter shoulders are feeling happy. Let me say, there's something wonderful about spending time with your good mommy friends. I am thankful for them everyday. We are accountable to each other and each others children without over stepping parenting boundaries. We are all Moms and we understand that at the end of the day, our children are little and we are responsible for their well being and safety. However, we also understand that we are equally responsible for their emotional self and esteem, which at this age is a matter of paramount importance. Yin and Yang my friends. Balance. What a joy to have other women I can entrust that to with Hayden. It's been a huge blessing in my life to have found these women. I am so thankful for them. Spending the day with them just reminds me of how important it is to have other Moms around me.

But the Museum eventually closed and that sent us all on our way looking for dinner. This is where a previous conversation about breakfast foods had us thinking of waffles. And where else does one get waffles but at the Waffle House? So off we ventured, loosing a few along the way to napping children and one family to Chipotle. But I can't blame them. Who wouldn't stop for a burrito when it temps you? That left us with 2. But there is power in 2. So off we went.

Quick Question. What is it about babies in little paper hats at run of the mill restaurants that make the whole experience suddenly seem magical? Waffle House had never seemed grand before. Don't get me wrong. I love a waffle. But combine three small kiddos, two mommies, a few waffles, chocolate milk, laughing babies, and some paper waffle house hats and you get something that's worth the memories...

My friend and I left there agreeing on the fact that things like this should be done more often. Because your babies are only small for a short amount of time and squeezing all the precious moments out of them are worth the impromptu waffle house dinner. We polished off our waffles, posed for a few paper hat pictures and departed to get our little ones home.

One thing is for certain, after being out of the house all day it's always nice to return home. Book reading, snuggling, and bath time bubbles before wasting away to dreamland can cap off any day of the week so beautifully. So we did just that. We are missing Adam as always. It's hard not to miss the amount of love he brings into our home every night. But days like today help in the passing of time between rotations.

We loved our Friday. Hope you loved yours.

I need to start this entry off with a little letter to my blog. Excuse us while we have a candid moment:

Dear Little Blog, I have a confession. I've been a bad blogger. I've neglected you for oh say.... 37 days, 8 hours, and 42 minutes. But who is counting...However, I do I love you little blog and I'm sorry. Life gets busy, but that's no excuse. I must make time in my life for the blogs that I love. I will no longer let "busy", "tired" and "hyperactive hysterical baby" get in the way of our relationship. I promise. Love always, Me.

Ok, that apology out of the way, let's move on. We have a baby here to talk about.

And oh boy has Hayden been up to quite a bit.

Quite a bit #1: Expanding his vocabulary

Hayden is at an age where he learns a new word every week. This weeks word: Truck. Now, being a Texan and a girl who drives a truck, I happen to like this word. The only problem with my son is that now everything that has wheels and moves is indeed, a truck. Even that in itself really isn't too much of a problem considering if you ask him to find a bike, he can point it out. Still, he will call it a "truck". The issue with his new found vocabulary came one day last week when we went to the park. Hayden became mesmerized by a shiny fire red sport car parked on the side of the playground, away from the mommy mini vans and fuel efficient compact cars. It wasn't enough that I was already nervous that he was "hovering" in the general area of the car, they built the park awfully close to the parking lot. We had two hissy fits and a distraction sippy cup to lure him back to the swings. It was then that my child of budding eloquent speech decides to bust out with his fancy new word yelling "TRUCK! TRUCK!!", all the while his arm was straight out repeatedly pointing at the car. The owner of said shiny fire red sports car looked at me horrified. His eyes read, "Lady, your child did not just call my $60,000 luxury sports car a truck..."

But oh, he just did.

I cracked a joke about being from the country and when the man didn't flinch, I scooped up my child and shuffled off to prevent further humiliation.

Maybe next weeks word will be "Get-over-yourself". Hey, a girl can dream....

Quite a bit #2: Learning to use a spoon

Hayden is also learning to use his mealtime utensils, which is a process that includes a cute little spoon shaped like broccoli and a fork shaped like a carrot.

Why Hello, Broccoli. And Good Day to you, Carrot.

It also is a process that requires a lot of patience. I spend over an hour cooking a meal that takes all of twenty seconds to end up being used as shampoo rather than consumed as dinner. It gets messy fast. I have however learned that tomato sauce can make ones hair very shiny and tomato-y smooth. Seriously, quit buying your expensive hair products. Tomato sauce is so 2011….

But we cheer when food gets on the fork and pull out the confetti when it actually makes the commute to his mouth. Occasionally Hayden swells up in pride and claps for himself, big toothy grin and all. I really am proud of him.

Quite a bit #3: Identifying objects

We are having so much fun with picture books right now. He can identify about 75% of the pictures in each of his books when he is asked to find them. He can even tell you on select words what the picture is. Let me tell you, it's amazing. I am floating on a cloud of mommy pride. He can recognize all sorts of foods, animals, and automobiles. If we are outside and a plane passes by, he stops in his tracks to find it in the sky, stretched out on tippy toes, pointing as high as his little baby legs will propel him. Go Go Haybaby legs. I've even caught him "flying" his Fisher Price airplane around the living room making plane noises. He also makes several animal noises. His current favorite is a cow, which he has appropriately added a B sound on the front of.

Bbbmmmoooo. Bbbmmoooo.

So, we took a trip to the zoo and one to Cabellas to see all of God's animal creations, both alive and well....taxidermied. He spent the whole time at both locations pointing out animals and making the corresponding animal noise. I could take him to the zoo everyday and never get tired of it. Ever.

Oh yes, that's a monkey butt....

Dad teaching Hayden about the Cabella's animals.

I love this stage in his development. He is soaking up life like a sponge and painting every inch of his life canvas with the most vibrant of colors. Simply put, he is a piece of art to treasure. It is a pleasure as a parent to watch.

So needless to say through all this, my little boy is being...well, a little boy. He's your regular dirt collecting, rock digging, park playing, free spirited little 18 month old. He reminds me every single day to take a step back from my frustrations and just be. At the end of the day if there's a stain on my shirt and a crooked pony tail hair-do, it's a "badge of achievement" rather than a something to stress over.

I love love love this kid. And I love being his mommy. Happy Monday. Bbbmmooo.

Two subjects for the day.

First Subject

The Great Outdoors:

Never seen a kid love them as much as Hayden. I walk to the door and turn the knob, the kid comes flying across the room from whatever trouble making he was in, arms flailing like a wild monkey, screaming like a old fighter jet coming for battle. God help the person who mistakenly realizes they no longer want to go outside and shuts the door. Infant meltdown is what we like to call not-so-fun. I swear he can sometimes even sense when you are *thinking* about taking him outside, similar to a house pet. Not that I'm comparing children to animals....

I do try to get Hayden outside as often as we are able to. Dishes pile, laundry lingers, and cheerios are repeatedly being smashed into the floor, but there's always time for an backyard play date in Hayden's world. Who needs a clean house when you aren't ever in it?

But let me say, I am working on my punting skills. Hayden has been patient with mommy for now, but I sense those days are fading....

And for the record, I've met the neighbors: Donna and Stephen. They are nice. Luckily they have a 10 year old, so they return our lost yard toys.

Second Subject

Hayden's Daddy

Hayden is a super sweet little guy. I am a very lucky mom. I get little kisses and hugs all throughout my day. They are the sweetest form of a pay check I could ever have asked for. I have all the riches in life with this job.

His sweet disposition shouldn't come as much of a surprise to me though. After all, half of his DNA comes from the fountain of sweet hearts, his dad. I wish I could really put to words how amazing my husband is. I've never seen a man love the way he does. He fell into fatherhood so naturally.

I can remember the day we left the hospital after Hayden was born. I was so scared out of my mind having this new little life to care for. Becoming a mom for me was more of a learning process and most things "baby" were incredibly frightening. I wasn't a natural in the slightest. We gathered up our take home items, overnight bags, cards, balloons, blankets, pacifiers, and baby paraphernalia onto a little cart to bring to the car. We buckled Hayden into his carrier and buzzed for our nurse to come with the discharge papers. We waited. And waited. And waited...

Twenty minutes later, we still had not heard from our nurse. It was at this point that Hayden decided he was not the biggest fan of his car seat and Mommy decided she was not the biggest fan of being at the hospital. A few squirms later, Hayden was in full on screaming tears and Mommy was soon to follow. Adam quickly scooped up our little man in the carrier with one hand, gently swinging it back and forth until Hayden was calm and the other hand was rubbing my back reassuring me that everything was going to be ok...

I had fallen in love with Adam well before that day, but I stumbled off a cliff at that moment. There's something to say about a man who is caring for both his child and partner at the same time, all while he himself was being propelled into the uncharted territory of parenting. My cup has been overflowing ever since that day.

Adam, you are my love and my hero. I hope you always know that.

Thank you for loving our little boy with everything you have.

For all that you are and all that you teach him.

Continue to steer him in the right direction.

He's got every chance in life with the example that you set for him.

I love you both.

Christmas

When you are little, Christmas is such a huge event in your life. Everything in the month of December has a purpose and it all leads up to the big event of "Santa" and "Jesus' birthday". It's a festivity for the senses, each one combining to make the magic real.

First, it's the sights of Christmas. The much anticipated Christmas tree is brought home. A two to three day celebration commences of sparkling lights, curly ribbons, and keepsake ornaments being hung on the branches. After all is complete, there is a sparkling beacon of light that illuminates your living room during the time of year when the sun just doesn't shine long enough each day. It's such a sight to take in. Magical.

Then, you have the sounds of Christmas. The melodies echo in the halls of school, the sanctuary of church, and on the radio. Any song choice from secular to religious just hit the right spot in your soul. It instantly makes you tap your foot, bob your head back and forth, or in the after math of a delicious cranberry cocktail, dance like an idiot. (Adam and I have no experience in the afore mentioned dance styles.................)

Then there is the smells and tastes of Christmas.

Cinnamon, sugar, and spice.

Vanilla, evergreens, and freshly fallen snow.

Hot chocolate, marshmallows, and peppermint.

And cookies.

Yum.

And of course the sensation of touch. The warm embraces from family. Cuddling up in a fuzzy blanket in front of a fire. Even though the world around you feels cold, the spirit of the holiday is warmth. It's so amazing.

I don't want to sound like a pessimist when I say up until this year I had pretty much forgotten most of what Christmas was like as a kid, but it sounds just like that. Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays and all that it encompasses. It just no longer feels childlike. It was becoming a very "adult" holiday with presents to buy, numerous functions to attend, and a very rushed spirit of 24 short days before the big event. Thankfully, some of that faded this year for one big reason.

This year, Santa didn't come for me. He came for Hayden...

Post toy set up snack. I can now see why Santa needs all those cookies..

I will never forget seeing my child's face when he walked into the living room at my mom's house. I know he doesn't even begin to comprehend the idea of Santa. It's the last thing on a 16 month olds mind. But the amazing part was, he instantly knew the presents proudly displayed at the front of the living room were for him.

And a celebratory clap commenced.

I felt the excitement of a child inside of me while watching run to them. He studied carefully for a moment waiting for the Mommy/Daddy approval nod to touch the toys. He smiled as he grab for the toy trucks on top of his new parking garage. Squeals and giggles followed when he realized they made "real" car noises. After Adam helped him to push a truck down the ramp, he then let out a full on belly laugh. Then he discovered the mega blocks tables. Off he went to explore with more baby grins. I was a smitten idiot. And it was glorious. So much more joy and love than I could have ever expected to feel on a holiday. Ever.

Of course, he had no interest in actually unwrapping any presents and his attention span soon gravitated towards a camera left on the coffee table, but the ten minutes he spent exploring his new toys made me remember a big part of the holiday season. It's not about the holiday rush, expectations, and responsibilities. It's about the anticipation and the gift of love we give to others. Even if I have to be the adult these days, the reward of the season comes in the small joys.

Thank you sweet Hayden for helping me to remember what it's really all about. I can't wait for you to learn what the real gift of Christmas is. I hope God keeps the joy of the season in your spirit as you grow. I'm one lucky momma.

The Rite of Passage

Tis the Season, friends. The Season of love and the Season of giving. It's a season of warmth when it's cold and cinnamon spices tickling your nose and tongue. It's the sights of ever greens laced with candlelight while the angels sing in the distance. It's a reminder of hope and compassion that fills the heart with joy. It's also a season of completely horrifying your child with a large bearded man wearing deep red crushed velvet.

Hayden was a little..."unsure" this year. We took him to Bass Pro shops Santa's Wonderland, the same place he saw Santa last year. It wasn't the breakdown-scream-crying-fit I hoped for (please don't think I'm a bad mom...it's a rite of passage!!!) but I saw the face of concern slowly emerge as we approached Santa. The one that says, "Hey, Mom. Put me in that man's lap and I will scream. You will regret this." Only moments before he had been distracted by the toy train circling in and out of the miniature sized mountain hauling it's load of winter logs and coal to little plastic cabins. That sight was all good and dandy because Hayden loves the outdoors and things that move. He's such a boy. It was quite a visual playground. I'm pretty sure Hayden wanted to be the conductor. But after the family in front of us had their turn with Santa, we began to move away from the train and towards to "Big Man". Hayden's eyes instantly widened. The grip he had on my shirt was one I had never felt before. Of course, as we approached Santa, Adam and I instantly bust into voices that were 3 octaves higher than our normal range. If we had a recording I can't imagine how annoying we must have sounded.

"Look Hayden!!! It's SAN-TAAA!!!"

"Hayden, are you EXCITED???"

"HI SANTA!! YAY!!"

Nothing from this kid. Just a look of terror. I wasn't sure how I was going to declaw him from my shirt. So we walked up and chit chatted with Santa for a bit. Santa did his Ho Ho Ho and Hayden looked at me like "Really Mom, you're crazy." But, in Hayden fashion, he eventually caved. From the side of Santa's chair, the "Big Man" reached in and pulled out of his over sized stocking something crinkly. Oh Candy Cane. Sweet sweet Candy Cane. Not even my kid can resist you. Hayden slowly reached for the peace treaty from Santa and that's when the swift exchange from Mommy to Santa occurred.

After this was a blurry 10 seconds in which an elf jingled sleigh bells, Mom and Dad jumped up and down saying "Over here Hayden!!", and the flash of a bulb went off blinding all of us instantly. Luckily, the results weren't half bad other than the look of concern on Hayden's face. But, we have a Santa picture.

Why do we submit our children to this? I don't know, but I'lll continue to do it EVERY year.

After all, tis the Season.

A Filler Post

I would like to consider this a filler post. What's a filler post you ask? It's the yummy goodness that sits in between substance. Because while I normally like to write about what is the core of my experience of mommyhood and soak up every morsel of the goodness that binds it all together, every once in a while I need a filler. Life gets busy. Everything is piled. The laundry. The dishes. The paper work. The Thank you cards. And poor little bloggy poo gets overlooked. So a filler post in needed while the rest of life keeps moving.

But let me assure you, this small child continues to entertain me. Everyday. So I'll continue to overlook the piles of other stuff for now. And don't worry, the substance is coming soon...But for now I'll leave you with the filling because it's oh so sweet.

Behold, baby Chewbaca.